Something I’ve been dealing with over the past year or two during my string of hiatuses is that the more I learn about the world, the more intimidated I become as an artist.
Naively, I began as a documentarian of the human experience. As I went on healing from traumas and observing my surroundings, I wrote it all down; both the frivolous and the severe. But somewhere down the line, I began to feel that my favorite writing topics were minuscule in the scheme of what appears to be a global disaster.
Catastrophizing? From me? Go figure.
Often writers bemoan the dreaded yet common “writer’s block” but, lately, it seems that many of my peers and I have faced the exact opposite: “writer’s overwhelm.”
The world is tiresome. There’s so much to write about and yet it’s been easy for me to slip into this mental spiral of insignificance. Why am I holding the space for talk of billion-dollar film corporations and actors and musicians? What will my words contribute anyway? Plenty of journalists are oversaturating us with this drivel day in and day out. Surely I’d be regurgitating the same not-so-hot-take as the cis white feminist writer before me.
How can I narrow down the most important of all the ideas swimming around in my noggin?
Of course, we need to have interests, hobbies, and joy. It’s not a crime to write about things that aren’t dire. Still, I felt the need to bow out of the chaotic content farm that has become social media.
Everyone can be a creator these days. That’s wonderful, right? Everyone has their two cents to throw in about anything trivial — the latest celebrity public outing, controversy, or gotcha moment.
Every day you log in and it’s Taylor Swift at The Eras Tour, Taylor Swift with Travis Kelce, or Taylor Swift’s 38th version of a new album! That’s not all, remember Scandoval? Nepo Baby discourse? “Homewrecker” Ariana Grande?
What about Hiss vs. Big Foot? Drake vs. Kendrick?
Remember the football games and awards ceremonies and all the 2024 album announcements coinciding with bombs raining down on innocent Palestinian lives?
Well, is it Barbie or Oppenheimer? And is Poor Things feminist or not?
Remember the hopeful updates from Mar-a-Lago about classified documents and an unceasing list of charges? Well, Trump incoherently rambles on another day, maintaining his promise to make America submit to his ever-changing definition of greatness. Who could forget an eerily comical Presidential debate followed by an assassination attempt? Then a last-minute dropout, a new candidate, and yet another puzzling debate.
H-O-T-T-O-G-O! That’s that me espresso! Who is Sabrina’s album about? Did she shade Camilla? More importantly, did Billie shade Taylor? Or was it Charlie? Did Halsey shade Britney? Did JoJo shade Miley?
Chappel Roan doesn’t want your hug. Katy Perry is making music with Kesha’s rapist. Brat Summer has come and gone.
Don’t Worry Darling walked so that It Ends With Us could run. Blake Lively's insufferable Interviews from years ago make today’s news. Another tone-deaf and ill-informed cinematic depiction of domestic abuse is sidelined by cast drama, subliminal haircare advertisements, and Deadpool!
These nonsense headlines flood our feeds while reportings of everyday sexual assault and femicide are sprinkled in. That, and more bombs on hospitals and schools and children. Oh, and some good old-fashioned American gun violence.
Well, I’ve been sick of it all and what’s more, I’ve been sick of my own opinions. Reflecting on my history, I found things I no longer completely align with. No matter how well intended I was, something about my past work feels cringe to me at this particular point in time.
Despite my convictions in certain more comfortable areas of feminism, a privilege for which I acknowledge, I’m not always right. That will be true as long as I live, and I try to embrace it. But when it comes to such an important political time crunch, I have begun to feel increasingly afraid of being wrong.
People are dying in droves. Human rights are in peril. Politicians are rotting our brains with manipulative tactics as if we’re imbeciles, and it’s unfortunately working. We’re being played with — and we’re taking it out on each other.
So what do I have to say after being away for so long? We need to continue to let our politicians know that we demand they stop using our tax dollars to fund a genocide. We must READ AND RESEARCH instead of taking a politician’s word as gospel.
Vote for the most qualified and viable of the two candidates. Both are imperfect, but we only have a matter of months. Think logically about communal (not individual) harm reduction instead of waiting for your dream candidate — they will never arrive.
We will be governed despite how much we hem and haw about tearing down the institution. We must stay involved no matter how paralyzed and useless we feel. The stakes are far too high right now.
My hesitation to write about anything in the past year or so came mostly from the fact that I’m no political expert. Many of the conversations being had about policy often make me dizzy. I always read to understand better, but I never assume that I know all there is.
So, am I qualified to speak? Isn’t that my job? Well, I see people making a fool out of themselves daily by speaking before knowing. Or worse, they influence others to be fools. I see them go unchecked and believed by thousands in TikTok Lives every day. “Let’s get some W’s in the chat for every uncited claim!”
I don’t want to be that.
I can complain better than most, but what does that do? Everyone’s complaining. My entire blog could be dismissed as complaining to some. I’ll take it with a grain of salt, but, no, really: what is any of this going to contribute?
Ok, hold on. This is a self-esteem thing. Let’s take a step back.
What can I bring to the table? Well, I’m an expert in getting people to think. I’m an expert in finding common ground. I’m an expert in empowering other trauma survivors to find their voices. But what I’m most proud of is the ability to teach people about my healing.
I know how to rally people to disrupt the structures that allow abuse to thrive. I’m an expert in enraging bigots and creeps. I quite like that.
So maybe that’s what I need to stick to. To those of you who are going out of your mind about how much you can do to help, start small. Hold on to the one thing you know best. It could be anything, as long as it’s something you have a passion for. Do it over and over.
What cause gets you fired up? What kind of privilege do you have and where can you put it to use?
6 ways you can support Palestinians in Gaza
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We need sharp and focused revolutionaries. Nothing will get done if we’re all running around like a bunch of beheaded chickens bickering with one another.
I commend all who continue to write what they feel called to. I hope you keep going and you take breaks when you need to. What is the role of a writer? We are important. You have to believe that we can make a difference to do so.
Maybe I was too harsh about my previous celebrity-focused articles. Many pop culture phenomena are relevant to our current political and social landscapes. Sure, the constant bombardment of Instagram micro-news and millionaire masturbatory puff pieces can be vomit-worthy, but isn’t it my job to innovate?
Here’s to finding the deeper meaning and sharing it with the world. There is more to say. I think I’m ready to be back.
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I’ve been here! It took me a lot of time, therapy and soul searching to realize that I don’t have to be the best, the most informed, or the most unique to have something worth saying (whether it be writing, art, music, etc). Your viewpoint is unique and worth sharing because it’s yours and no one else’s!